I took some time to visit my sister, who is getting better day by day, but is still experiencing a lot pain. When I hear my sister groan late at night, my heart goes out to her. It was good to see her and just spend time talking – doing something mundane together. When we are dying, we will remember those priceless simple moments.
On another note, I’ve ignored my real-life intimate relationships. It’s been a conscious decision, there’s much transition going on in my life right about now, but I’ve noticed a re-awakening lately. That urge to be intimate with someone, to sleep entwined, to share intimacy, to listen to the “symphonic pulsing” of two hearts beating as one.
Perhaps it’s the change in the weather, I’m not sure, but whatever the case, today I will follow that urge and see where it takes me…
* * *
Sex, God, and Ego
We moan, we grin, and we roll apart
for some small talk
after our little piece of dying.
It is a feeble reach
for the rational,
some tiny piece of evidence
that proves we are
once again intact.
— Edward-Yemíl Rosario ©
God is love.
When we are relating to the things and people around us with care, compassion, and consideration, we radiate that Love and joy. When we are not handling things in that manner, our consciousness of our Higher Power – of the ever present energy of the Universal Principle – will be blocked by such a lack of caring. I’m here to bear witness today: there are times when I do not embody such caring, but I am trying.
To get off tangent for a moment, I know of at least one woman who probably doesn’t like me too much these days and most likely would rather not hear from me – ever. I said at least one, but there are most likely more. The irony is this: until we can undo the karmic entanglement we have created, we will be forever linked. Therefore, the point is that if you want to be rid of me, then you’ll have to love me first. LOL
I laugh, but I’m serious — but I digress…
By not caring or being inconsiderate, we create an environment equal to that of a psychological pig sty. In that sty of negativity, not caring often means casting judgments on others. Anyone who’s ever been in a committed relationship will agree that this can be clearly evident as an expression we have taken to bed.
Part of intimacy in bed, aside from sexual intercourse, is sleeping together, something both men and women often take for granted. In actuality, sleeping together is an extremely intimate, trusting experience, although we have all at one time or another abused that intimate comfort.
How many times have you been in bed, irate because you knew the person next to you was “wrong” but wouldn’t admit it? What did that get you except righteous indignation, as you kept this intimacy with a bad taste in your mouth, or a tense stomach? The fact is you could have bypassed that righteous indignation.
Oh, I know what your response might be: “I tried. I mean, if he would only admit she was wrong, everything would be fine.” To that, I will only say that I’m not talking about trying in that way. That’s just making things – perpetuating – the argument.
Or, another response you might have is, “If only he’d stop being such an arrogant asshole, I might let him in.” To that I would say that’s not in; that’s merely allowing him out of the judgment jail you out him in the first place.
There are other ways, if you’re willing to put down the ego.
When you’re lying there with your lover in bed, you might opt to give them a light massage and as you’re doing that saying, “I don’t like being separate from you. I don’t acre anymore about right and wrong. All I know is that I want to be with you and to care for you, and for you to forgive me.”
You might say to this that why you should be the one to forgive, if you were the wronged or injured party. Another person might say, “Give Eddie a massage?!! After what that psycho ma’fucca said to me?” My response to you and people like that is that the best thing you can probably do is send the ego packing.
I will say this: be careful about sticking to your guns because you might then find yourself locked into playing the role of gunslinger for the rest of your life. And believe me, once you get with the way of the gun, there will always be another relationship around the corner for you to gun down or to gun you down at the not-so-OK Corral.
If you desire to be with someone in warm, loving, caring, caressing support, I suggest you get rid of ego-centered way of the Mini Me, and opt instead for that tender moment.