This coming week will be the [un]Common Sense week for raising awareness on the issue of violence against women. For those who think women are getting preferential treatment, think again! If the amount of violence visited upon women in this country were directed at men, there would be a military lockdown on all our rights.
Stay tuned. Starting tomorrow, I plan to make examples of some predators here on 360…
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Yup. You read that right: the Big “L.”
The word we all are scared to utter even when we’re feeling it in the very fiber of our being. Some people will go for most of their lives and hardly ever utter the word to those they most love. It’s even scarier in romantic relationships. We worry and strategize: What if I tell her I love her? Will she reject me? Will she use it against me? Will she think me to clingy? Will he say he loves me too? And what if he doesn’t say it?!!
Yup. The Big Nasty Hairy Obscene “L” Word.
We’re all afraid to say it. Or if we do say it, we’ll play semantics with the “L” word.
We’ll draw distinctions between loving someone and being in love. Apparently, there is a difference. LOL! No, I’m not that dense. I realize that when people make that distinction, they’re pointing out the difference between the attraction of the feeling of love and actually committing to it and letting it flower.
Or maybe not. I don’t know.
I’m a complicated man so I try to make things simple. For me Love is an action word, it’s something you do. When I tell you I love you it means I’m going to work at loving you. It means I am committed to loving you by acting on my feelings for you. That means that I will attempt to accommodate your feelings, be considerate, protect you, make love to you, compromise with you, do the things I know makes you feel wanted and valued. That’s what the Big “L” Word means to me. When I tell you I love you, it means I headed in a direction of a life with you and all that that implies.
So, I don’t know if there’s a huge difference there for me between love and being in love. For me it’s like being pregnant: you’re never half pregnant. You’ll never hear a woman say, “I’m pregnant, but not in pregnant with you.” That’s why I stopped making that distinction. When I love, it’s with my soul, nothing held back, caution thrown to the wind. Believe me, in this life it’s the only risk worth taking. Of course, it doesn’t mean I ain’t shitting in my pants the whole time because it’s fuckin’ scary opening up like that.
Furthermore, I become unbearable because inside I want to sabotage the whole thing and in that way not have to do it. I jump, then in mid air, I’m screaming like a bitch because why do I have to fall in love, GODDAMIT! And yet I still take the risk because when they finally come for me to put me in some decrepit nursing home where the nurses will refuse to wipe my ass for hours, I don’t want to be laying there in my shit regretting that I didn’t love in that way. That I didn’t take the risks.
I think the core issue with love is that it will enter into any mind that truly wants it. Your task is not to seek love, but seek instead all of the barriers within you that you built against it. I’ve heard it said that “Love waits on welcome, not on time.” When you want only love, you will see nothing else. If you could agree with me that love is in part a form of sharing, then how can you find it except through itself? I say, offer it and it will come to you because Love is attracted to itself. Offer hostility or contraction and love cannot exist, for it can only live in a space overflowing with peace.
I have earned that Love is already in me and that I need only to extend it outward. Going back to my perspective on Love as an action – that is the action: extending what is there already inside of me. Love is an act of will for the benefit of another. What a fuckin’ awesome revelation! Maybe that’s what my beloved means when she says she can fall in love with me.
Love is the most sacred word you can ever utter for Love is God and you could never know one without the other. Integrated, you could never again be unaware of love and Love would never fail to recognize you. And in this recognition, you will live in grace because Grace is the acceptance of Love within a world of hate and fear. In Love you will find gratitude because it goes hand in hand with love. Where one is the other must be found.
Love laughs at my defenses for the foolishness that they are and so Love will ask you to lay down all your weapons. Love without trust is impossible. People always ask me about my motivation to write in this way. I guess my aim ids to teach people to remember what they really are – to emphasize that there is no difference in what you really are and what Love is.
If all you did today was catch a glimpse of what truly is then you will have advanced on your path in an immeasurable way. See Love in you, and you will see it everywhere because it is everywhere.