Sunday Sermon (June 01, 2008)

¡Hola! Everybody,
Today, I rail against “undercover evangelicals.” I mean, if you’re gonna be a born again ma’fucca, the least you can do is be upfront about it so I can avoid you! LOL

* * *

Rick Warren’s Purpose-Driven Life: Whose Purpose?

“”The bible teaches that since entered the world, way back with the very first human beings, we have lived in an imperfect, broken planet, and that causes hurricanes and tornadoes.”

— Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life

Perhaps some of my readers are familiar with Rick Warren’s the Purpose Driven Life, the best selling hardcover nonfiction book in publishing history. What may not be as familiar is Mr. Warren’s purpose or agenda.

The Hawaiian shirt-wearing evangelical pastor of twenty two thousand at the Saddleback megachurch in Lake forest, California once collected $7 million in cash on one Sunday. His church services are so huge, babies checked in to the nursery are assigned bar codes in order to avoid losing them. His church provides several service styles, including gospel, guitar-driven, and even “hula and island style.”

None of this would matter if we didn’t live in a free society threatened by the agenda of the radical religious right. Unfortunately, we do live in such times and Warren is one of the most influential of the evangelical assault on freedom. While he denies not being part of the religious right’s agenda, good-ole Warren has gone on record as being “firmly a cultural conservative.” He believe opposing abortion, gay rights, stem cell research, human cloning, and euthanasia are “non negotiable” and “not even debatable” for people of true values. Now, before any “born againers” get it twisted, I’m not against people having their religious beliefs/ values. I just don’t like it when you try to ram it down my throat or make your beliefs law.

Warren went so far as to call the Terry Schiavo debacle “an atrocity worthy of Nazism.” The only thing atrocious about the Terry Schiavo case was the behavior of the religious zealots, who manipulated the tragedy to serve their own agenda. Oh yeah, Warren has compared homosexuality to having sex with a horse (where do these clowns get their material?!!)

Warren likes to say he’s not political, but that’s bullshit. Prior to the 2004 elections, he set up voter registration booths on Saddleback’s church patio and, most telling, he sent letters to 150,000 pastors insisting their congregations vote for Bush. So when Warren insists he’s not part of the Looney evangelical right, he’s bullshitting. Actually, he’s telling a lie.

Most recently, the pastor even joined forces with rocker/ activist Bono at Live 8.

No wonder latte-sipping libruhls, Volvo owners, and sinners alike are so out of the loop. Rick Warren is one of the most influential leaders in the country, yet most people outside of the church know next to nothing about him. The likely successor to Billy Graham’s mantle has ministered to leaders such as George Bush, Bill Clinton (talk about stealth conservativism!), and Rupert Murdoch and claims to have personally signed a copy of the Purpose Driven Life for Fidel! LOL!

Warren’s influence is puzzling for me. I mean, he really believes that David killed a giant with a slingshot and other biblical stories you are likely to catch on Xena: Warrior princess reruns. He also believes that Noah had never seen rain before The Flood, because in Old Testament times “God irrigated the earth from the ground up.” He believes and states all of the above and yet he has influenced millions. If I tried that shit, I’d be put away (again).

Warren’s Purpose Driven Life encourages people to discover their own God-given purpose through forty daily readings in order to achieve happiness in life. His “God is Your Buddy” preaching style (as well as his Hawaiian shirt collection) defines his God-given purpose. I always get nervous around people who think (and say) their doing “God’s work” because who the fuck knows if it’s true?!! LOL! You have a direct line to God?!! Seriously, being that absolute is, in my not so humble opinion, the root of 90% of the world’s problems. I get nervous when people start saying their doing God’s work because historically speaking that’s usually entails a lot of pain.

Warren’s true genius lies in marketing. He set out with the conscious purpose of seeking to bring sinners to his church. Employing focus group mentality and methodology, he’s one of the innovators of the “seeker sensitive” branch of evangelicalism: casual churches where sinners will feel comfortable. Seeker sensitive churches like Warren’s are in the business of marketing themselves to sinners. Pastors like Warren intentionally orchestrate the church experience to appeal to sinners. By the way, according to Warren, sinners are “unrepentant pagans.” So you ma’fuccan Wiccans leave that New Agey mumbo jumbo at home! LOL!

Church slogans at Saddleback promise “God’s extreme Makeover” and sermons can be watched in a variety of settings, including on-premises café equipped with live feeds of the service.

I call it “Corporate Christianity” and I doubt it resembles anything even closely remote to the teachings of a 1st century radical rabbi who hung out with a bunch of losers and outcasts.

But here’s Warren’s true purpose in his own words (discussing the launching of his international PEACE Plan):

“Jesus said, ‘This Gospel shall be preached into all the world to every nation and then the end will come.’ He’s not coming back until that happens… The question is will we get to be the ones who get to be on it or not. Will we be the generation who says, ‘Let’s make this happen!’”

You should be scared…

Love,

Eddie

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