Strangely enough, I have little to say today. I have written about father hood in the past – it’s around here somewhere. In fact, if it weren’t for my commitment to posting one blog a day for this year, I probably wouldn’t have posted anything.
I went and had my hair streaked and cut yesterday. LOL! That’s me and my ex in the pic above. I will say this much: I’m grateful to have people in my life that I trust implicitly. My ex is one of them. I have friends and loved ones that reaffirm for me what is good, true, and beautiful in this world.
In a world rife with unhappy people constructing mirages and selling them as real, it feels good to know there are people in my life who aren’t like that. People who strive to keep it real – in a very real sense.
This isn’t about moral snobbery. I have friends today who have failed me in the past and vice-versa. For example, there is the ex from Boston. When we first met, she chased me for four years. When we finally entered into a relationship, her lies were so embedded into her maps, that she couldn’t tell the difference any longer. Her self-esteem was so lacking that she couldn’t cope with a loving and considerate partner. What she knew was abuse and that was what she yearned.
Eventually, over the years, that has changed somewhat. At the very least, she came clean when the thread was pulled and her web of lies imploded. She’s a little different today, more willing to accept herself and others. And we have a relationship that’s better today. Sure, what we like most is to fuck each other, but it’s all good. LOL
People will always disappoint us, folks. That is, if they’re human. I love humans. I’m uncomfortable around “Gods.” I even love those of us most touched. Those who are fragmented, imperfect and who know suffering intimately. I guess it’s because I believe you can only be kind when you have known deep loss and pain. For me, what makes the difference, what really matters, is the response.
As always, it’s all about the willingness.
As a man – as a human being – I try to embody values I feel are important. I try to live my life as a power of example. Do I fall short? Shit… I fall short many times.
But I try. I really try. In the end that is all we can do.
Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy Father’s Day. It’s important to honor our parents.
May you all know true happiness.