Check this out: there’s an item in the news this morning on a survey research purporting to measure happiness throughout the life cycle. According to this study, women are happier than men are during their twenties. The other side is that men are much happier than women later in life.
* * *
-=[ High Road Holy Rollers ]=-
“Self-righteousness is the load din raised to drown the voice of guilt within us.”
— Eric Hoffer
I’m going to be clear: I make a distinction between being judgmental and utilizing one’s ability to judge. If a child points out the emperor’s nakedness, that’s using one’s ability to judge.
The King is naked.
Making blanket statements about me, or speculating about hidden motivations behind my posts/ responses? That’s being judgmental. I can’t abide judgmental mindsets. It has been my experience that judgmental individuals are dull and lack creativity.
This blog is not a place for people to come and pass judgment. There are plenty other blogs for that. I have always striven to be as transparent as possible and to encourage people to go beyond their personal opinions and look at issues from a larger, more panoramic perspective.
If you don’t like my writing, or what I post here, yes, it’s your right to express your dislike, but it’s also my right to tell you to go fuck yourself when you post something I find distasteful on my blog.
As people know, it’s rare that I comment on other blogs. That’s because most of the time I don’t have anything to add, I find the subject matter irrelevant (I don’t give a shit about gardening or cooking, for example), or sometimes the effort put forth in presenting the material is not to my tastes.
However, I will not go to, say, one of Nina’s gardening blogs and blurt, “This shit is stupid, I can’t stand this shit.”
Because it doesn’t add to anything and is rude.
Someone here (Lulu on Multiply) made a comment yesterday speculating on my motivation for compassion – specifically that I save my compassion for women I wanna fuck. The comment was without tact and unnecessary. Immediately following that comment someone else (Francesca), posted a comment expressing how she’s above it all.
The former comment was just plain bullshit, and the latter I found pompous.
Having put out all this, who really gives a shit about our judgments?
Additionally, if you’re really so above it all, you would refrain from commenting. Right?
The irony is that when you pass judgment on judgmental people, they get all bent out of shape. It’s as if they have a sense of entitlement. They can pass judgment but you or I can’t. If I have the temerity to pass judgment, then there’s something wrong with me: I’m being hypocritical, overly sensitive, too tense.
I view that as duplicitous and the height of condescension.
It’s easy to criticize something, anyone can do that. Again, I strive to keep this blog from that type of mentality. What’s more challenging is to offer a solution, or something that would make the situation better. Everybody has an opinion, and like assholes, everybody thinks theirs doesn’t stink. I don’t give a rat’s ass about opinions, my opinion is that opinions are highly overrated. LOL! I’d rather spur people to think outside their normal parameters – beyond their personal likes and dislikes.
The fact is that oftentimes, the very same people who claim the high road, have feet of clay. This happens in all areas of life. Ever hear of the fallen preacher? Or the do-gooder who was molesting children? Many people here on the ‘net present themselves in the best possible light, but I’m willing to bet we have all made poor choices in the company we keep and occasionally continue to do so. We have all broken hearts, have had our hearts broken, committed all kinds of sins, and continue to do so.
I will submit that this “I’m above it all” attitude is a sign of unconscious dishonesty. C’mon now: Who the fuck hasn’t felt superior to the angry outburst or a slip of another individual – only find herself in the very same spot the next day? Self-righteousness is useful only in that it points toward our shadow side. As I pointed out yesterday, I will cop to my shit, and I am confident in my capacity for self-knowledge. Still, what we least like to admit about ourselves is what we most often feel most self-righteous about.
It’s our blind spots and self-deception that leave us open to dysfunctional habitual behavior patterns. The fact is that the person we feel most self-righteous toward may be the person you might learn the most from. When we point a finger, always remember that there three more fingers pointing back at you. Take the focus off the external factor and try to look within and notice how these individuals touch our most sensitive area.
Yesterday, I had to look at the remark about me saving my compassion only for women I want to fuck, and it didn’t take me long to understand this was feedback that was useless and unkind. Not only is it insulting to me, it’s insulting to the women I befriend because it implies a nefarious and hidden motivation. It has taken me a long time, but when I’m confronted with such behavior, I’m able to say, “Fuck you,” and keep it moving.
I have confronted individuals like Polo before. Polo is a thief and a predator, but he’s also a human being deserving of self-respect and dignity. However, not taking him to task is the height of apathy which is the polar opposite of compassion. Just because you don’t engage him, or people like him, doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. I have received PMs from women who have informed me he engages in predatory ‘net behavior. If my post is able to uncover his behavior and bring his actions to light, then I feel a certain amount of satisfaction.
To the people who feel offended by all this, who feel they are above my actions? Don’t come here if you don’t like it. I’m certainly comfortable with that choice. However, if you come here to pass judgment and I smack you in the face with what you dish out, don’t play the victim, or hide behind pseudo-therapeutic psychobabble.
I’m done with this. I will not respond to any comments to this blog. I only ask that people read my writing before swallowing the spin. My writing stands on its own. I’m sure some will squawk, but this is part of who I am and what I do.
Take it or leave it.