I’ve become so accustomed to posting a blog everyday, that it doesn’t feel right not posting. I didn’t write something new today, but here’s something I wrote some time ago…
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-=[ The Journey ]=-
“He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him.”
— Dutch Proverb
Sometimes, when we look at how far we have strayed from the kind of people we want to be, we are overwhelmed by how far we have to go to pick of the pieces and get back on track. Perhaps for the first time we see clearly how unfair we were or how much we hurt ourselves and our loved ones. Just maybe we see more clearly the power ineffective patterns have had over our lives and how much we have missed as a result.
It is at this time that we become most ready to do the work of becoming a more integrated human being. What is probably most helpful at these times is to remember that life is a journey not a race. In reality, the path is the goal. The past is a memory and the future is but a fantasy, but if we look closely, we spend too much time lamenting past mistakes or wishing for a better future. Life is like a dance: the importance is in the dance itself, not reaching the end of the song.
One day I had what I now call a “spiritual awakening.” No, there weren’t any angels, no God tapping me on the shoulder or striking me blind. No burning bushes or lightning. My spiritual awakening occurred at the most darkest, most desperate time of my life. My spiritual awakening was coming to terms with utter, hopeless defeat. In time, with a lot of help from many different people, I have been able to pick up most of the pieces of the wreckage of my life.
There were times when it seemed that the distance was too long — almost impossible. But I just put one foot in front of another, one day at a time (sometimes one breath at a time) and when things seemed really bleak, I used the power of a support network — men and women who were there for me and gave me what I needed and not what I wanted. I learned that the important thing was to stay on my journey and to allow things to unfold on their own. You put in the work long enough… shit happens.
If I look back, I can say “I” (meaning the “I” encompassing my family, friends, and community) have come a long way since that dreadful time eighteen years ago. What I have learned is that if I’m on a path of a positive and spiritual direction, that I have a good part of my journey behind me. Once we start, outside the door, we are progressing. And we will continue to progress if we remember that it is the reward of the journey itself that we seek, not merely the destination. It’s not something you remember, or something you seek in the future that will bring you what you want. It’s here, right now, if you open your eyes.