Man, it’s almost time for “Back to School”! The summer is too short, my friends. Man, it’s almost time for “Back to School”! The summer is too short, my friends. I began a post on dating, but couldn’t finish it on time. I will post that next week. Today, might creep some of you out. LOL
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
— Roseanne Barr
After doing a little research, I had written an essay on The Period for my sex blog, but it turned out way too long. The more I researched into the cultural history of the menstrual cycle, the more I was confronted with a history filled with negativity, propaganda, and stereotypes. There’s no way I can fit my analysis of that into a one or two-page MS Word document, people.
Exploring the culture of concealment that surrounds menstruation is to be confronted with the negative impact such secrecy has had on women’s psychological and physical health. From safety problems such as dioxin-laced tampons, to the menstrual etiquette fostered by women’s magazines, the way menstruation is framed culturally leaves women more likely to tell their male friends about an affair than to walk down the hall to the bathroom with an unopened Tampon. As Susan Kim, who co-authored, Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation puts it:
[L]ots of things have conspired over many centuries to make us mortified about the process. Since ancient times and around the world, menstruation has been treated as a filthy and shameful thing; it’s in the Bible (just check Leviticus), it’s part of Islam and orthodox Judaism, and even as recently as the 1950s, scientists from Harvard conducted studies to see whether or not menstrual blood was poisonous. On top of this bedrock of superstition and religious belief, you can add decades of advertising selling products by creating and then playing off fears of staining, leaking, bulging, and smelling.
Young women are taught limitations about acceptable behaviors and that menstruation is bad — an irrepressible evidence of, gasp, sexuality.
I can’t get into all that in one blog. I thought about posting it as a series of blogs, but the essay, coming from a man, seems too didactic. I have no legs to stand up on this one. I would love to see one of my female friends do a good, well-researched blog on this issue. For now, I’ll contain myself to sex and the period and hopefully, lightly touch on some of these issues along the way.
A friend confided in me once that it wasn’t until he was in a long-term, committed relationship with such a woman, that he discovered that for some women, at least, the time of their period is their horniest time of the month. And it is true enough. You might be one of them. This may stem in part because women feel more sexually liberated during this time, since the possibility of pregnancy is somewhat decreased. I don’t know for sure.
Or a woman may be experiencing a little pelvic congestion, which may cause her to feel aroused. Perhaps, as some of your more intrepid sisters have discovered, the possibility that orgasm relieves menstrual symptoms, such as cramps, might make you turn to sex for a little natural pain relief. Or, who knows?! Some women might be feeling more predatory because, you know, the fertility symbolism of the period kinda/ sorta brings out the “I am woman, hear me roar” feeling.
One friend admitted that she enjoyed sex during her period because she was turned on by the fact that neither she nor her lover had an issue with it. For her, it was cool that she and her man were able to bond over something most people couldn’t handle. Something that should be perfectly natural since it’s simply part of being a woman. She confided that some of the best sex was during this time and it relieved some of the worst of her menstrual symptoms. And yes, before you send me hate mail, I realize that some women feel really icky during this time and sex is the furthest thing from their minds. As one reader of this blog put it, “Ewww! Disgusting, I hate anyone even touching me in the slightest when I’m on my period let alone screwing me. Gross, but of course, to each his own. LOL”
However, taking into consideration all of the benefits for period sex, don’t allow any biases you might harbor about “that time of month” keep you from having possibly some of the best sex of your life. Can it get messy? Sure. But is it dirty?
The menstrual cycle is nature’s way of doing what it does, and it’s just one more rhythm and flow you should just go with. There’s no need to hole up like a nun for a week. And gentlemen? Any other time of the month, you’re more than willing to dive in face first, so please stop it. If you are keen on having sex during your period, make it clear to your partner you are OK with it. If he is as well — it just may become that “special” time of month for both of you. Make sure you have lubricant handy. Despite the flow, one effect of a woman’s menstruation is a drying of the vaginal mucous membranes. And make shower play a part of the after-sex bonding. One friend would often have period sex during a shower, which I find sexy. For me there’s very little sexier than the taste and texture of a woman’s wet skin — freshly washed wet skin is heady stuff for me.
If you have issues with having intercourse when you’ve got the dot, don’t punish yourself by abstaining altogether. Take matters into your own hands while bathing or showering, which keeps things neat. One friend admitted that his former wife would sometimes just dry hump him during her period, which brought him back to his high school days… ::blank stare::
In conclusion, never abstain from sex during your period unless if you are just not into it, it goes against your religious beliefs, or if it causes you more discomfort than pleasure.
My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…