Your Horrible-scope

Hola mi gente,
I’m looking for a man (or woman) with a van to help me move a few things (really: a bicycle, a couple of small boxes, and some luggage) from a location in the Bronx to my storage in Brooklyn this Saturday. You will not have to carry anything.

Today: Let’s have a little fun. LOL

Your Horror-scope

03-02-16_ Your Horrible-scope

 

Create a new bedtime story for someone you love and imagine you have a guardian angel that looks like me. Teach your pet goldfish to dance. Recreate your life-story using sock puppets and some five-year-old as your director. Make believe you’re an ancient Thunder King or Woman-Warrior Queen. Go to the mall and sing New York, New York at the top of your lungs while scratching your genitals. Be sure to watch Reality TV with your third eye. Drink holy water blessed by a really smart teen-aged girl. Always remember that you are The Chosen One (and so is everyone else).

My name is Eddie and I’m in recovery from civilization…